just home now

great day

I had a great birthday. It was Sunday, Mother's Day, and I loved it. Buzzy actually took me for a surprise adventure the day before, Saturday. We started out with breakfast at Ramos House, the most INCREDIBLE place to have breakfast ever.

It is charming and beautiful and the best, fresh food ever. If you get a chance, go there. You will love it.

After that, a limo pulled up with some of our closest friends inside and we drove to Temecula for a day of wine tasting. Yummy...

It was such a fun time. We ended the day by going to PF Changs, my mega favorite. When we finally got home, our awesome community down here had filled my entire kitchen with groceries.

(not actual groceries, but pretty close).

There was even a live lobster in my refrigerator. We ate it last night.

On Sunday we saw my mom and Buzzy's mom and just enjoyed being with family all day. I received wonderful presents, like these:

(but in navy blue)

(can't wait to create my own entire wardrobe).

Thank you to everyone for the calls, messages, gifts, cake and singing that made my weekend feel so special. I love my family and I love being so close to everyone again.

starting something new

It's potty training time, people. And I really think we are both doing okay. OKAY, I say. Captain is pretty much 100% when he is at home, so now we are just working on the trips out. I respond to major change the same way....master it in the comforts of home, family, routine....then take it out into the real world and have to practice, fail, succeed, try. In front of everyone else. Terrifying.

This is the view out the kitchen window. These are flowers that we given to me by my friend Tay.

This is the great room. This is the amazing couch that was given to me by my parents. It is 45 years old and I LOVE it.

This is Captain's room. We still need a bed frame, but ah, who's complaining? This way he can't fall out of the bed anyway (that was sometimes a problem the past few months). The small child sleeping in the bed was given to me by God. He is my favorite.

Buzzy started his pool route yesterday. He liked it and he was tired. Smiling and tired.
All is well....

happy

I am happy to have a home. I am blessed to see Captain, loving his room, enjoying the beach, telling people about his big bed, mentioning "home" all the time. Are we going home? Are we home? Yes, we are home.
I am excited to see Buzzy pursue a new career; it looks like he will be buying a pool cleaning route. He will get to work only three days a week and focus the rest of his time on church. I am eager to re-start Sanctuary, our new church, with the leadership team that is in place. We have just recently decided to go from monthly meetings to weekly meetings. All these things frame my world right now and give me cause for happiness.

Salt Creek

This is just our home now.
I took this picture at Salt Creek Beach, which is almost ten minutes from our door.
I am in awe.

It has felt like a miracle to be back in a home again. I am thankful. I am thankful. I am thankful. Also, it feels gigantic, even though it is about 800 square feet. I couldn't be happier.

no longer away

Laguna Niguel, California

We have stopped our travels, our tour, our adventure on the road.
We have begun a new life.

As many of you know, Buzzy did not get the pastor position in Fullerton, but, as we have seen in the past few days, there is so much in store for us here in South Orange County.

We moved Monday to an apartment in Laguna Niguel. It is two bedrooms, one bath, no yard, a tiny patio and it feels like a mansion to us. We feel like we are staying in a hotel. It is incredible. It doesn't even feel real to me yet. Last night we slept here for the first time and it was completely surreal.
To wake up.
In my home.

I will have more pictures and stories soon. Right now, we are just trying to get settled and unpack.
But it is good.

It is a good beginning.

time

I played piano alot when I was younger. I actually have a Bachelor's degree in Music and my primary instrument was voice, my second instrument was piano. Growing up I had the most amazing piano in the house, my grandfather's, a 1899 Upright Grand with the best sound of a piano I have ever heard. I remember when I as little and I would go to it and sound out songs. I remember when I begged my parents for piano lessons. I remember my piano teachers. All of them. I remember my first recital at about 11 years old....absolutely terrifying. I remember my last recital. I needed to pass it in order to graduate from college.
This last week we were staying with my parents and so I had a few moments to sit down at that lovely piano and play. And it was really nice.
I realized that I miss it.

The reason why I don't play is most commonly that I don't have time.

Captain has time. He has all the time in the world. His work is to play. And so he can learn an entire new language, he can master riding a bike or a skateboard, he can learn how to put on clothes or use a fork. He is developing so many skills and hobbies and talents right now. Because he is stocked full of time.
I have a friend who is in his eighties and he says that he wishes he would have learned to play an instrument. That that is one of his regrets. And my mother-in-law says, "Why not start now?"

It has occured to me that I have the time.
I do. I have the time that is needed. I have been given the time. And I will have all the time I need until I don't have it anymore. Until my time is up.

But until then, I have time. To play the piano. To teach Captain a new language. To love. To try to minimize those regrets in my life that I may feel so heavy later.
I can put my hands to the keyboard.
And so can everyone else who has hands and breath and movement in their bodies.

There is time for us all.

clarification

Okay, I think I need to clarify on my last post. I think it was just a little vague for the people that seem to love us and track our progress, or desire to progress, or sincere attempt to just move a little bit in any direction really....

Buzzy has been interviewing for a college pastor position at a church in Fullerton called Eastside. It is a wonderful church and the college group is just swell. The interview process has been long for us, since Buz is currently not working fulltime somewhere else. The church knows our situation well and is very sympathetic. So, for better or worse, by the end of this month, either an offer will have been extended OR we will move on.

The move on will be to South County. There, Buz will pursue a church outreach/bible study with our dear friends in ministry. Many of you know that Sanctuary existed for many years and was our church home for a long time. We still feel the call of home that exists there. That is where we will put our full time effort.

So, that is a little bit more of an explanation of where we are at. We are still staying with family and friends, God bless them all. We are trying to be smart about money, sell that beautiful fifth wheel trailer, and not be a burden to those who love us and desire to bless us.

Buz met with a counselor from Azusa Pacific University this week, as he is very excited to start a program to finish his degree. We are still actively trying to give Captain a little brother or sister. We are eager to start something new. We are excited to dive into a community of people to love and squeeze and honor. We have been home for almost six months now. A friend said today that it is like we are still on the road. Just on the road here.

We are willing though,
willing to stop moving and just stay.
Stay for a long time.

I like the solutions that are right under our noses. I like the part in the movie where you find out who did it and you never even suspected them the whole time! I like when the ending is something that was always present, just not seen.
Yes, well. HoHum... And sometimes life is like that, all metaphors and character arch and thematic, billowing and lovely. And other times, it is all just kapoot. I don't even really know what I am talking about.

As for an update, we are still waiting. Waiting, waiting, ah yes....waiting. Interesting.
But.
(I love the but)
BUT! Now, we have a plan.

We will be residing in either Fullerton or South Orange County (probably Laguna Niguel-ish) and Buz will be on staff at a church. How's that for news?

Exciting!!!! Orange County, California!! All that traveling! All those miles and towns and cities and beauty!!! And here we are....happy to be right back where we started.

easter pictures

Here are some great pictures from Easter and around Easter.

More coming soon...

today

Anaheim, California

That freckle is a miracle to me. I can't stand it. Where did it come from? It is perfect. Would I have thought of that? That perfect freckle right in the kiss spot. Would I have come up with something so mind boggling-ly brilliant??!! One day it wasn't there and the next day it was. How does that just happen?

Today is the first day of spring.
And I breathe easier.
Spring is a miracle to me.

Today is the end of winter. And I feel that winter deep in my bones and my heart. And today gives me the promise of what will bloom, for what has been growing underneath all that darkness and quiet and still stoic frost. For so long now, it has appeared that nothing has been happening, but I know, I believe, I trust and I LEAN longingly into the TRUTH that it was all just the winter.

It was a season.
That's all.

And today it is over.

So that now we are upon the first day of spring, I am eager with anticipation...
for what will grow this year, for what new freckle miracles will surprise us each day, for the new life that will be a redemption testament to a long, brutal winter.
Winter is the dying.
Spring is the being born.